Do you have a routine you regret?Parents are getting real about the parenting techniques they deployed which they now completely and utterly regret.
Sharing the routine they are “so mad” they started, Redditor pmd815 said: “A year ago we were going through a ROUGH bed time phase with our three year old. In my desperation, I mentioned a couple of her classmates who were definitely ‘already sleeping’ at that time of night and *every single night* since I have to name every kid and teacher in her class individually and say ‘____ is sleeping, ____ is sleeping.’
“She also recently started public school so now I have to do her old classmates AND the new ones, because I’m a clown.”
At this point, 10 other parents said: Hold my beer.
1. The homemade encyclopaedia
“My 4yo likes lists of inane facts. I initially just put these on scraps of paper, but he kept losing them. Then I had the bright idea to put everything into a notebook, so I did that. Then he carried the notebook around so much that it was falling apart. So then I decided I could just type his lists and then if one bites it, I can print it again. So now he has a prong folder (it has to be somewhat soft because he sleeps with it or I’d do a binder) and so I’ve had to handwrite all of his lists at least twice and type them all once, which makes me a clown too!”
2. The emotional support tissue
“Left a tissue in her crib when she was sick so she could wipe her nose. Now it’s a frequent night time emergency when she ‘can’t find her tissue’.”
3. Bedtime history lessons
“So I was a history major in college . . . and somehow I’ve gotten myself locked in to telling my son about ancient civilisations when I tuck him in for bed. He’s 8 now and learning more about different parts of the world, so he’ll ask things like ‘what can you tell me about ancient Egypt?’ or ‘do you know anything about ancient Greece?’. I’m starting to suspect he doesn’t care to learn about these places, but just wants to put off bedtime as long as he can.”
4. Saying goodnight to 14 stuffed bunnies
“My son loves bunnies. His grandparents, aunts, and uncles all get him bunny stuffies. We have to say good night and kiss 14 stuffed bunnies by their names every night. Though it does still make me laugh to say goodnight to Mr Farts, Ravioli, and Tractor. The names are getting hilarious the more he adds.”
5. Reciting the family calendar for the next fortnight
“When my daughter was around 5 we went through a phase where every night at bedtime I’d have to tell her everything we are doing for the next two weeks. ‘Tomorrow you go to school, Tuesday you go to school, Wednesday you go to school AND Nana’s house….’
“This went on for at least 6 months before it somehow dropped out of our routine.”
6. Another emotional support essential – this time, an ice pack
“I don’t even know how it started but my daughter won’t sleep without an ice pack now. We recently went on a trip and made sure to pack the ice pack and threw it in the freezer the MINUTE we arrived. I don’t understand it.”
7. The nightly ASMR rendition
On the back of one of his books is the cover of a ‘down by the bay’ book. One time we were looking at it I sang ‘down by the bay’ kind of like ASMR style, whispering each line in opposite ears from behind him since he was in my lap. Idk [I don’t know] I was just being silly. I have now done it every night before bed for almost a year.”
8. Crack an egg Sundays
“We let him crack eggs starting at like 20 months for Sunday breakfast and I don’t think we’ve had a single Sunday morning since that didn’t start with ‘eggies?’ On loop. At 530am.”
9. The elaborate hand hiding game
“My 2 yr old would rock in her rocking chair and start to read a book about farm animals. Part way through she would hide her hand behind a page and say ‘oh no where’s my hand??’ This would lead to 10 minutes of me and her father asking where it is, if we’ve seen it anywhere in or around the room, and act completely dumbfounded. It was exhausting because I know she was just putting off bedtime. It became a whole big thing of a monster was coming to eat us if we didn’t find her hand.”
10. The Christmas tradition adopted by millions of families
“Elf on the shelf.”
– RTPTL
We’ll all look back and laugh about it one day!
