apartment is humiliating

i live in an apartment and it is so disgusting. i have been a hoarder since forever but moving out of my moms house years ago made it worse since i had nobody to hold me accountable. i have no clue why i am like this but it’s not like i hoard anything of value, it’s trash and clothes mostly. i live in an apartment with my 1 yr old and it is so disgusting. i try to clean but its almost impossible with a toddler. i’m afraid CPS is going to come to my house and take her. i feel like a failure like why can i not keep a clean house for my child? i now have a fruit fly infestation because of all the trash. no matter how many traps i set they don’t go away. i KNOW i have to clean because it will only get worse. the apartment owners come check on the place every few months and last time they came i said i was sick so they shouldn’t come it but i know they will soon be here again. i live on edge every day that they’re going to come knock and bust in the house and then evict me. the worst part is that i CAN clean. in november i didnt sleep for almost three days and cleaned so good it was SPOTLESS. i’m talking it looked like i had just moved in. i guess i just dont know where to start. i dont have the energy to go random 2-3 day bursts without sleeping. i haven’t felt that way in a while. i just do the same thing every day and then never get any cleaning done. i feel good getting it out and admitting my problem but it doesn’t make the stress go away. godddd this sucks i wish being a hoarder wasn’t a thing. it’s so hard to deal with and im so embarrassed and humiliated. well that’s my rant if anyone has some tips on how to get out of this funk and how to feel the urge to clean it’s appreciated.